Sunday, February 22, 2015

Times to remember

My husband and I have been married for eight and a half years and in that time we have learned to do without. We have learned to do without a second car, vacations, new clothes, shoes, name brands, homes with adequate space, etc. Jay and I decided he should go back to school so that we could better provide for our growing family. So, when Bella was five months old we moved to Ohio for Jay to finish his bachelors. That time in our life was extremely difficult. Jay was working a full time underpaid job 45 minutes from home, and going to school at night. We didn't get to see each other much, and I was a new mom taking care of a little baby. It was hard, very hard. But we were willing to go through it for the greater good. The summer after Jay had started school he had an accident at work while working on the forklift. The accident slightly dented the brick of the building, and just to include the building was Lowes. Three days later he was fired from his job, leaving us with no source of income. 
   At this point we did what we had to do to feed out family. There is no shame in receiving assistance when you're trying to better yourself. 
   But unfortunately, when people find out things like this it can either go two ways. First, they are completely unjudgemental and continue to see you in the same way. The second, they judge you and just think of the stereotype of assistance abusers. 

  My husband and I have come a long, long way since the time that we had found ourselves in those desperate situations. We have worked hard to give our children a better more secure life. We are thankful to live in a country where climbing to a better more secure place is possible. 
   Our situation right now is not one in which we find ourselves "desperate." Our situation now is one in which we find ourselves "tight." Jay works hard to make enough to support us, we budget strictly, and we make sacrifices. 
   To set the record straight, my family does not use foodstamps. But if we were using them, I wouldn't be ashamed. Foodstamps are meant to be used in desperate times while you're working towards an independent way of living. 
  In all my experience, good times and bad, I've sensed the most judgement from those who haven't truly known desperate times. Because desperate times have a way of clearing up judgement, and revealing a side of life that you may have never had to see. 
   I hope no matter where Jay and I find ourselves in life, we never forget that young couple who found themselves in desperate times while fighting for their family. 



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