Wednesday, August 20, 2014

How we met, part 2

    I left off that it all stopped, and girls can be catty. Jay was a fun guy to be around, and very sweet and easygoing. A certain girl who enjoyed getting attention from all the guys (sure you know the type) knew Jay through friends, and enjoyed his company too. She took it upon herself to warn Jay that she had heard that I had said things, more less claiming him....Why he listened to her, and asked me about it, I'll never know. Jay had zero ability to judge the intention of girls like that, he honestly didn't realize that girls can cause trouble to be dramatic and catty. As you can guess, I was offended over the whole thing. It caused us to drift, and we basically didn't talk for two weeks. Jay was questioning what he was doing, and where our relationship would go. He was struggling with whether or not he should take time to discern the priest hood, or just take time and not date at all. He told me later that he really liked me the whole time, but he just didn't know what he wanted. I on the other hand was sad over the whole thing, I had truly started to like him more than a friend, and had forgotten all about "Nameless." I missed him during that time, I wanted to go back to hanging out and getting to know him. I wasn't looking for a label, I just had never met anyone like him before and I didn't want to lose him as a friend over something so stupid. 
   We finally met up one night by the lake near by, we talked and slowly things went back to the same comfort level as before. He knew, and I knew we had something special. We could talk for hours, he made me laugh, I somehow made him laugh...And it was different with him. From then on we continued getting to know each other without labels or pressure. It wasn't until the very end of the first semester December 5, 2004 that we finally became an official couple. We parted for Christmas break, and I was so bummed that we made it official right before a month long break. 

 I went home and began the long Christmas break, which to me seemed never ending. My parents had planned a family trip to spend a couple of days at Disney right at the end of the break. And I for some crazy reason thought it would be a good idea to invite along my new boyfriend who had never even met my family. As soon as I asked him, I regretted it. Why would I invite my new Bostonian boyfriend along on a mini vacay? When I didn't even know if he and my family would hit it off? And if my fears came true, and it was awkward, we'd all be stuck together in a condo and forced through the inevitable uncomfortableness. I literally made myself sick worrying over whether or not Jay would like my family, and they him. 
  I could get carried away with unimportant details of the Disney trip, so I'll try to sum it up. It went ok. My family seemed to like him, he was very warm and outgoing and my little siblings wouldn't leave him alone. Jay liked my family, and didn't seem at all uncomfortable with all the new people and sharing a room with my little brothers. We had the typical Disney world fun, and ended the vacay by saying goodbye to my parents and heading back together to Ave Maria. Things were great, we were reunited and school was about to start up again. Until...

 Not long after returning Jay started to pull back, he wasn't calling as much and started making excuses about being busy. Now I was totally confused, this guy?!  Everything was great, and now, I wasn't even sure where we stood. I confronted him after an event at the school ( Ave idol) I told him we needed to talk about what's been going on, and no, it couldn't wait.  We headed out to take a walk and talk, again by the lake. 

   Our talk consisted of him sharing doubts he had been struggling with, and a lot of other stuff that in my head was just too much for me to deal with. I finally stopped him and said I had had enough. I told him we needed to break up, and that I had no idea he was having these kinds of doubts. I then told him (and I was serious) to please delete my number and respect me by not calling me and giving me space. His reaction was not at all what I would have predicted it to be, he froze...Like he couldn't believe what I was saying. It was like a light went off in his head, and everything he wanted was now crystal clear. And what did he want?...He wanted me to forget everything he had said, and forgive him for putting me through the drama. He told me that he just couldn't let me go...I was so confused, and had to just stand there and think. I thought  I must really have scared him, but why?? Wasn't he breaking up with me first? 

 At the end of the night I agreed to give our relationship another shot. Jay says that was almost one of the biggest mistakes he ever made, and from that night on he never second guessed anything. From then on he was a dedicated boyfriend, we saw each other everyday, and tried to always make time as a couple to pray together and keep our relationship God-centered. We were happiest when together, and slowly it felt like there was never a time that it wasn't "us."  Over the course of the next year I got to meet his family in Boston, and he got to spend more time getting to know mine. When we were apart we would spend hours on the phone, and couldn't wait to see each other again. 

  A little over two years from the time we first met, we began to talk about what we both knew was just a matter of time, getting married.  Continued soon!!




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